421 Anniversary Party.Branding.Unwind.

ammg.

Jason doing his thing.

          Fortunes 4 year anniversary party @ Hard Rock went something like this; stand in a dark room with random scattered lights (similar to the film phenomenon, Miami Vice) that really made me feel like I was in complete and utter squaller. But the one thing constantly making me forget about darkness, was the fact that every 5 minutes a sexy girl in either spandex leggings, or a skirt with her junk hanging out, would walk by. It was NOT like shooting fish in a barrel. Mainly because we didn't leave with a single one of them. Actually, the reason we went in the first place was to shmooze some business associates, but it quickly turned into the standard Hard Rock situation. The main ingredients consisted of dudes in affliction shirts and girls who were trying to find sugar daddies from the persian army. In all honesty though, I did enjoy myself thoroughly. The Fortune fashion show portion of the night definitely impressed me. And yes Kern knew 6 out of the 7 girls modeling in the show...... personally. The raffle was cool too, in fact I believe they auctioned off a gigantic box of sex toys. AMMG (The Albert Mason & Meinzer Group) will be officially introducing our new brand Logo, that we feel is going to impact our ascent up the marketing ladder. Stay tuned for more details. 

Always expand your game gents.

J.E. Albert

Shooting at Breeza

all day.

ridiculous. actors.

extremely happy.

Star of Akbar

Jessie is the man

The only way I  was able to spell Breeza correctly was because Carlos looked it up on Google Street View. And the only way that I remembered shooting it was because we have footage that our camera recorded of the "actors" saying bullsh*t lines there. Breeza is a new overpriced condo building in downtown SD. Not really even worth the trip to be honest, except for the sales girl from Chicago. Very impressive. As for the units themselves, they reminded me of being in a press box at a Padre game; it's like, yeah, it's cool that your in an exclusive box with a sweet view, but after the first inning you realize you're in a shitty room with sucky carpet and a nice refrigerator. But the actors......... they were the ones that made me really pissed off (i.e. photo above). Despite messing my back up, (mainly because I sleep in weird obtuse positions) I was able to perform my task of the day which was to basically nothing and stand around like there is a legitimate reason to write me a check at the end of the day. There was a commercial shot, apparently, but I'm not exactly sure how its going to turn out. We aren't editing it, so if you see a commercial on television for Breeza Condos downtown, don't fall for its cheap imitation appeal because you will lose. What will you lose? Well for starters $800,000 to $1,400,000. But for the people who aren't as concerned about that, you are WINNING a fairly lame contest. It's called the "I'm a dumbass and spent all my commission check from Morgan Stanley, on a box with a toilet because I want to bring drunk sorority girls home" contest. J.E. out.

Stay financially sane Gents.

J.E. Albert

mulligans especially birthday mulligans

Mulligans are obviously strictly prohibited in the professional leagues of golf. But who's a professional here? Not me. And this wasn't golf, it was the sh*t-show that was my birthday "celebration". First of all, thank you to Dieter and friends for having a sweet gathering for me. I'm going to go with "gathering" because it definitely wasn't any kind of normal party. I'd rather not get into specifics, but between one of the producers of the show "Bridezilla" on A&E, trying to kick me out of my own party, and leaving probably in the ball park of  12 drunk messages over the course of the night on girls answering machines that are way hotter than me, last night sucked. Looking back on it, probably more funny today than last night, when I was watching a 260 lb man try to finger my friend on a dance floor. Not very gentleman worthy content, but there wasn't anything worthy of much on the night of april 10th 2009. It was like when you watch the scene in Titanic where it hits the iceberg. The entire sequence your clinching to your pillow or scotch glass hoping, yearning, that this time, the 5th time you've seen it, that the ship will miss the iceberg and they will just make it to New York. Except, the Titanic really does hit the iceberg and everyone dies, except Kate Winslet I think, I haven't seen it since 5th grade so this may have been a shitty parallel to integrate. Anyways, I'm done with this. Stay tuned for the birthday celebration I haven't had yet.

Stay updated on all current club rules gents.

(including the non-permitted attire of open toed shoes, on a guy.)

J.E. Albert

Fisker Hybrid

Pebble Beach 06'

The Karma

For those of you who don't know what a Fisker is, It is a car manufacturer that in the past has used two frames; one from the BMW (650) and one from the Mercedes (sl65). From that platform or power plant you can then design the interior to your specification. I first saw one of these cars at the 2006 Pebble Beach Concours` de Elegance. It was certainly well appointed, but that was all I really remembered from it. Now, Fisker is introducing this new hybrid. 2 Modes of driving that allow the driver to choose between fuel economy and performance. Interesting concept. We will see how they sell. Pretty cool alternative to the Maserati Quatroport. If our friends in La Jolla get one of them I will be sure to revisit this vehicle with a road test.

Stay as un-hamster as possible gents.

J.E. Albert

Farewell to a Good Friend

Some of you may know my good friend Cameron a.k.a. T. Wolf a.k.a. E.L. Healey a.k.a. Man Genius. He recently moved to Baltimore and if any of you were at his going away party you would have seen this exact scene. I apologize in advance for any of the treatment or general conduct of the attendees that I haven't heard about yet. We'll miss you Cam. Do work. 

Stay loved gents.

J.E. Albert

spring has certainly arrived

spring is here :)

Been busy folks, extremely busy. But, I had to make time for my peeps....... so much to catch up on. Does anyone else read the articles on digg.com? I mean it's impossible to make that shit up. Some of the stories are deathly hilarious, to the point where you call a friend and say, "Oh my gosh, this is so funny...." But then you realize that it's only really funny when you read it on the page in between "Man Gets Dick Ripped Off by Racoon" and "Woman Uses Dradle to Achieve Orgasm". "Man accidently shoots himself at drive-through"? I wish when I turned on CNN, the main headlines at the bottom read, "Monkey Gets Herpes from Pizza Delivery Man". Could you imagine the interviews that you would get with these people? I picture Katie Couric interviewing the man who shot himself at the drive-thru. I mean it's like, excuse me sir, did you think that the line for burgers was never going to end? Or were you just eager to get out on the range and shot your pecker off with a rifle? Priceless.

Stay logged into digg.com gents.

J.E. Albert